'The Odyssey' Knows Fathers Matter But Doesn't Seem to Know Why

Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey has seemingly silenced its online critics. The long-awaited adaptation of the classic Greek poem is one of the most profitable and best-reviewed movies of the year, clearing $264.1 million worldwide and getting a 95% score from critics and a 97% from audiences on Rotten Tomatoes. But this hasn’t stopped pundits from arguing back and forth whether the film is an assault on traditional values or a defense of them. 

When it comes to its depiction of family, The Odyssey is somewhere in the middle. The film is one of the most beautiful recent artistic depictions of family and how society falls apart when the family—particularly in this case, the father—is absent. But it also promotes Hollywood clichés that, ironically, make such families less likely to exist and flourish.

The core of Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey is a son, Telemachus (Tom Holland), living with the absence of his father Odysseus (Matt Damon), and how his world is in chaos without him. King Agamemnon conscripted Odysseus into the Trojan War, and now, with the war over, Telemachus and his mother Penelope (Ann Hathaway) have no idea whether Odysseus is alive or dead.  

This film is one of the most beautiful, recent artistic depictions of family and how society falls apart when the family—particularly, the father—is absent.

Without his father, Telemachus struggles to become a king who can live up to his legacy. He has to glean insights on combat from people who knew Odysseus. Telemachus has no one to protect him or his mother from the men who prey on him and his mother nightly, hoping to bully her into marrying one of them and making him king, and killing him so their children can have the throne.  But it is not only that Telemachus needs his father. Ithaca also needs its king, and Penelope needs her husband. Without Odysseus, there’s no one to enforce or lead by example for society to enforce “Zeus’s Law,” the law of hospitality to strangers. This is leading to a collapse of society, with the once-beautiful Ithaca falling into slow decay and ruin. It is only when Odysseus returns that everything that is evil is ended and what is good is—at least partly—restored.

This is an unusual story to tell in Hollywood. As I’ve written before, typically, American movies portray dads as bad guys or obstacles; whether it’s villains like Darth Vader or Thanos, absentee or abusive parents like in Sentimental Value or Sovereign, well-meaning but misguided or useless like Sketch, Death of a Unicorn or One Battle After Another, or obstacles to a child’s self-actualization like in Moana, Sinners, or Michael. This, even though the overwhelming data shows the presence of fathers is associated with better outcomes for kids. In contrast, Odyssey actually shows what is missed when a father isn’t there, and how things are better when he returns.

Possibly most striking of all is the portrayal of Penelope. Penelope is strong, vulnerable, and deeply in love with her long-lost husband. This love is not treated as a weakness, but a strength. Based on her love, she defies all the men around her who tell her she must remarry. And—unlike Hollywood films like Barbie and Don’t Worry Darling—her happy ending is being reunited with her love. I found Anne Hathaway’s depiction of Penelope missing Odysseus particularly moving because it so vividly captured what my mom was like when my father passed away.

What makes this especially notable is this kind of deep love and satisfaction in marriage is actually quite common, yet so few women believe it. Research consistently shows married women and men are happier than singles on average. And yet, as Maria Baer and IFS’s own Brad Wilcox write: “Only 24% of women 18–29 believe ‘married mothers are ultimately happier than other women,’ far lower than any other group.” Clearly, we need more movies to portray Penelopes.

But while The Odyssey defies the “bad dad” and “unhappy marriage” Hollywood cliches, it does indulge in other harmful ones. Though the film portrays fatherhood as necessary, it doesn’t portray it as intrinsically necessary. Rather, in the film, it's necessary because of toxic masculinity and sexist structures. They need Odysseus to come back and claim kingship because sexism prevents Penelope from claiming the throne herself. The reason they're all in danger at all is because of male suitors. The reason Odysseus had to leave in the first place is that Agamemnon and scores of other men were so obsessed with power that they used "rescuing" Helen of Troy as a pretext for going to war with Troy. 

While The Odyssey defies the 'bad dad' and 'unhappy marriage' Hollywood cliches, it does indulge in other harmful ones.

Penelope and Telemachus may want Odysseus home because they love him. But they only need him because the world they live in is misogynistic. As Penelope says, they live in a world where men “do what they can,” and women “do what we must.” Women are consistently portrayed as the voices of moral clarity in The Odyssey, from Penelope to Athena—with the bad men being the ones who don’t listen to them, and the good ones, like Odysseus, being good because they listen to the women. The film regularly reinforces the idea that the problems would be solved if women were allowed to be in charge. 

But research shows fathers are intrinsically as necessary as mothers. Research consistently confirms that while moms are better at nurturing their kids, men are better at the teaching side of parenting, as well as helping their kids succeed in school, avoid prison, pass down their faith, and build the confidence and independence their kids need for adulthood.

Fittingly, sociologist Jonathan Haidt ties this very thing to the very societal disintegration The Odyssey warns against in his book, The Anxious Generation. Independence and passing on communal values found in religion (in the movie, “Zeus’s Law”) are, he argues, the very things we need to hold our society together. It’s in large part because we’re abandoning those values that we’re becoming isolated individuals who don’t know each other and can’t trust each other. In other words, the very things fathers bring to the table are the very things we need and are losing.

We see hints of this in the film. When Odysseus returns home, he slaughters all of the suitors himself. Telemachus is only barely able to handle one. The film makes it clear that Telemachus is not going to be the man his father is. And it makes it clear that civilization will decay before it rises again—if at all. 

The problem with portraying masculinity as toxic when outside the influence of women—as the Odyssey so often does—is that both men and women mistrust men’s instincts, parenting and otherwise. That’s a problem when it’s those very instincts that make men capable of being the King Odysseus that women want, and children and society need. 

Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey glorifies the family just at the time we so need to be reminded how desirable it is, and we should applaud it for this. But it also unfortunately traffics in many tropes that make people less likely to find it for themselves. Hopefully the former wins out, so we don’t have to spend a thousand years trying to restore what we lost.

Joseph Holmes is an NYC-based film and culture critic. He's written for outlets such as Forbes, The New York Times, Christianity Today, World Magazine, Religion Unplugged, Relevant, and Religion & Liberty. He co-hosts a weekly podcast called The Overthinkers. 

*Photo credit: Melinda Sue Gordon/Universal Studios

Editor's Note: The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views, policies, or positions of the Institute for Family Studies.